REACH IOP @ Bridgeport Hospital

When I first joined the program, I was a girl who had my life dictated by a fear of throw up and was controlled by a part of my brain I didn’t understand. Ever since I remember I had been forced to act certain ways and had to perform certain rituals. I had no idea why I was the way that I am, and I felt trapped; I thought I was going to be like that for the rest of my life. About 5 months ago, I was diagnosed with OCD, and 2 months later I was introduced to this program. This program was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Not only did it inform me of my OCD, but it jumped in right away with so many exposures, and at first I thought that this was the worst experience of my life, but over time my anxiety went down, and I started to be able to control my intrusive thoughts and compulsions. This was something I thought was impossible. IOP quite literally saved my life.

Before coming to this program, I was ALWAYS shaking uncontrollably, sometimes for no reason at all. I was nervous at best, annoyed, frustrated, angry, lacking any kind of hope for myself, fed up, lost, and mostly always letting my OCD win with little to no fight from my end. I struggled doing everyday activities that most people take for granted. I was suffering the most with graphic, sexually intrusive thoughts, germs, and contamination fear. I had a fear of the unknown (by me personally), sexual words/terms, certain everyday words (which I both called my trigger words). After attending the program, I no longer shake all the time. My anxiety has gone down tremendously. I’m able to be almost totally calm when family members that trigger my contamination OCD hug me. I’m able to do a lot more things that my OCD wouldn’t let me do prior to coming to this program. My parents notice a huge change in me. My parents told me that I seem a lot happier. This program is the real deal. The people here are going to push you to do things your OCD doesn’t want you to do. Things that your OCD fears! These people know what they’re doing. I can’t thank this program enough for all they have done for me.

I’m writing to you because I’m coming down to the end of ERP. You will go through so many emotions, from anxiety to depression, from worry to discouragement. You may shake and be nervous and your anxiety will definitely go up, but that is expected. OCD is a big bully, and the great staff here will be bullying it right back. OCD can be debilitating for many of us but you must break the cycle and unstick the thoughts in your head. I had to learn and you will too, to be ok with uncertainty. Trust me, it’s so hard, but I let OCD dictate to me everything I can and can not do, eat, places to go. But no more. Don’t give up when you feel discouraged. Tell your OCD to kiss your butt and take a hike. God bless you.

Hey there fellow OCD haver. If you are reading this letter, you might be at a crossroads. Maybe you’re feeling like this treatment isn’t for you. Maybe you’re anxious, angry, sad, doubtful, or frustrated. I know how you feel because I was once in your shoes. Remember, the OCD wants you to avoid all of these thoughts and emotions that arise while you’re attending this program. Just by being here, you’ve taken a HUGE step in defying your OCD and as impossible as it might sound, you’re on your way to recovery. I find it helpful to think of ERP like going to the gym. It absolutely sucks at first. It’s painful, you’re tired, and all you can think about is getting it over with. Just remember, it gets easier the more you challenge yourself and feel the burn. You will slowly and surely gain your life back and accomplish things that right now seem nervewracking and out of reach. Go punch your OCD. You got this!